Unstuck

Typically, my blog posts reflect thoughts that have crossed my mind over the past month. However, today’s post is quite different. Some of these ideas have been simmering for years—some for over a decade—while others are fresh revelations. As always, they all come with a touch of philosophy.

Algorithmic Jail: The Title of the blogpost Unstuck stems from a recurring thought I can’t shake—the idea that we are all trapped by our convictions and experiences, subconsciously imprisoned. We move in endless loops, reliving the same patterns until we make the conscious decision to break free. Nostalgia, too, is a prison. It’s like rereading an old newspaper, hoping for new information that will never come.

Why do we do this? The answer lies in a simple story about a dog.

As a young and strong pup, he was given meat and sometimes buried bones for later. One day, after a terrible accident, he lost his speed and strength. Struggling to survive, he went back to his old hiding spots, gnawing on the bones he once buried. But they were dry. Desperate for sustenance, he chewed harder, unknowingly making his gums bleed. In the end, he was feeding on his own blood.

We are that dog. We cling to old memories, thinking they will nourish us, but often, they only drain us. Nostalgia has a taste—perhaps like Coffee Rum—because we selectively remember the past, filtering out the pain and amplifying the warmth. That’s why songs, movies, and literature are obsessed with flashbacks. For the past eight years, I have found myself chewing on those metaphorical bones, only to realize they no longer contain any marrow. Those bones are nothing but our own blood . 

Similarly, today’s digital world locks us in an algorithmic jail. Every second we linger on a post is taken as consent to see more of the same, trapping us in a cycle of repetition. Escape is rare. Memories and Convictions, hence are a Jail and more often than not you will be surrounded by the same things over and over again . 

One jailbreak? Travel. Without pictures. Without rigid plans. Just random conversations and the freedom to truly experience something new

Going Up or Down: Understanding Life’s Trajectory

Everyone we meet is at a different stage in their journey. Their actions, perspectives, and interactions are shaped by where they currently stand—whether they’re rising, holding on, or facing a decline. Yet, much of what we consume—be it media, business narratives, or everyday conversations—fixates on success. I’ve often noticed that at airports, what people mostly consume in book stores is overwhelmingly focused on success stories. A few days ago, while doom-scrolling, I came across a clip that said, "Bana hua superstar sabko pasand hai, banta hua superstar kisi ko pasand nahin hai." This struck a chord. It’s a profound reminder that we rarely pause to consider where someone truly is in their journey. In hiring, I’ve always believed in blending scientific assessment with the art of understanding a candidate’s personal path. One of the key traits I look for in people is how they have handled life’s downward spirals. In fact, most of the deep emotional connections I share are with those whose struggles I can relate to. Over time, I’ve lost interest in reading success stories, idolizing heroes, or cheering for those at the top. I believe we are increasingly becoming a society obsessed with toxic optimism and an unrelenting pursuit of upward trajectories—whether in wealth, appearance, possessions, or societal validation. This relentless chase often strips us of empathy and realism.

It’s perfectly okay to be on a downward spiral or simply to float—waiting for the tides to turn in your favor.

Daag Acche Hai: Embracing Authenticity

There’s an old Surf advertisement with the tagline "Daag Acche Hai." In the ad, two siblings are walking home when the little sister gets splashed with mud from a small puddle. Instead of scolding her or worrying about cleanliness, the elder brother jumps into the puddle, playfully fighting it like a monster. Soon, both are covered in mud, laughing.

From childhood, we are conditioned to maintain a spotless, polished exterior—an image of perfection. Over time, this habit seeps into our personalities, leading to a dual existence: one self that we truly are and another that we showcase to the world. This dichotomy is unsettling. A few days ago, I wrote a quote: "Aadmi ho ya Rudraksh, ek mukhi hona chahiye." Whether a person or a sacred Rudraksha bead, they should have just one face.

How many people around us are truly single-layered? The same in their personal and professional lives, with friends and strangers—just one authentic self? The truth is, such individuals are rare. We begin erasing this authenticity in children as early as playschool, conditioning them to mold their personalities to fit expectations.

But once you find the courage to be single-layered, you also develop the strength to embrace your imperfections. You become more self-critical yet at peace with yourself. Unfortunately, I see very few people around me with this level of authenticity—most are wrapped in layers of carefully curated personas. Over the last few years, I’ve realized that this is a significant socio-emotional issue.

If there’s one conviction I’m truly proud of over the past eight years, it’s that I’ve progressively shed my layers. With time, I have become more and more single-layered, embracing who I truly am. 

Today's song is a rare new one , JaanaJee ! 

जाना तुम को जाना हो तो मत आना | 

हमको और रुलाना हो तो मत आना | 

आने वाले हो तो एक गुज़ारिश है | 

जल्दी वापस जाना हो तो मत आना | 

आना सिर्फ रहना हो जो अब ख्वाबो में | 

कच्ची नींद जगाना हो तो मत आना |